When I was young I went to Catholic school

in church, we would sing

“This little light of mine,

I’m gonna to let it shine..” 🎵

Childish even when I was a child,

surface, silly, repetitive -

mirroring the repetitiveness

of the bible verses and stories

we heard each year in church

drilled into our heads without meaning

I woke up this morning with this song

and bible verse in my mind,

“Don’t hide your light under a bushel -”

ironic that a relic from my childhood religion

I thought I had long discarded

would come back to me

On this full moon

I’ve since learned about the moon,

as a symbol of the feminine -

full moons mean “release”

and follow new moons

which mean new beginnings

A rhythmic ebb and flow of

taking in and letting go

breathing in and breathing out

It makes sense a woman’s body

follows its own cycle

patterned alongside the moon’s

But the bible verse arrived

in my adult mind today -

it felt real-world, lived

and applicable

It rattled around my mind and body

and penetrated to the core

The core that has lived decades in hiding

pretending so as to fit in

so no one finds out who I really am

I didn’t use words like healing

It was safer to reference science

I convinced myself my creativity was a liability

Efficiency was more important

That empathic ability to see into someone else -

All pushed down and denied

Is it any wonder I suffered

from so much depression

Be quiet, be safe

Be someone other than you

So today on this full moon

I’m letting go of the old story,

the fear of being seen

Of being unworthy

I choose to put my words to paper

Giving ink and space and time

to the gentle insistence from my soul

Putting the metaphors on paper

so they will no longer

metastasize inside

I write to honor my own unique blend

of wisdom and way of being in

and perceiving the world

I write to inspire hope

to express the inexplicable knowing,

with every fiber of my being,

that we’re letting go of

what no longer serves us

collectively and

individually, one by one

This is my vow and prayer

to bring my light

out from under the bushel

“...I’m gonna to let it shine..” 🎵