I've got an insight to share that may help you stop feeling like everything is your fault when it comes to eating healthy.

But first a story about reality TV

I'm relaxing with my family - my husband and daughter - on the couch. We occasionally watch a silly gameshow together, the Floor, where contestants compete against each other in different categories. We all like to play along out loud when a topic comes up that we think we're good at.

The category of "reality TV" comes up. Our daughter announces that she's going to be great at this one. I mumble something about anticipating I won't know any of these...

And she says, "You know it's because when I was little you watched America's Next Top Model and you wouldn't let me watch it, so I always wanted to. I'm sure I've watched more ANTM than you ever did, and it's part of why I watch so much reality TV."

It's true. It used to be my guilty pleasure - at first, she was a baby, but she soon became a toddler and knew when I watched it in our tiny apartment after she was asleep. I sometimes gave in and let her watch with me.

I worried about the horrible example of these shallow models tearing each other down and competing to be the best. And of course, she picked right up on that! In a typical "forbidden fruit" fashion way because she wasn't supposed to watch this, it became ALL the more alluring.

I couldn't help thinking about how similar this is to the work I do with women now in helping them to make peace with food. If you think about my story and exchange watching reality TV with eating sweets, for example, it reads just the same.

Mentally restricting food, even subtly, or actually restricting yourself from eating certain foods or amounts of food for whatever reason ironically backfires and ends up making you overeat. It's human nature, it's not your fault.

Willpower doesn't solve for cravings

Whether it's biological hunger, which is underrated for its ability to drive us to eat in a way that can feel like overeating if you're trying to eat "healthy." Or if it's you mentally telling yourself not to eat a certain thing, there's solid evidence against that idea that you don't simply have enough willpower or discipline.

In a study with children who were given red and yellow M&M's, they were told they could eat all of the yellow M&M's they wanted, but DON'T eat the red M&M's. Well, guess what happened? The kids looked at, played with, and eventually ate the most red M&M's.

Giving yourself unconditional permission to eat the thing, whatever the thing is for you, instead of making it the "forbidden fruit" is a part of the way forward.

Which leads me to my offering a workshop around this topic, if you’re interested in exploring this more.